"Teeth"
Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein
When I read the description of this movie at work I had to rent it. Not because I thought it would be a good movie, but because any movie about a woman with teeth in her vagina has to be the worst possible movie ever made. Turns out I was right! It pretty much sucked crap out of a dead cow's butt. However, I knew it was going to blow chunks when I rented it, and as a result laughed hysterically. You know what the movie's about, so I really don't need to say much else here. They bill it as a "cautionary tale" for young men. Well, that "cautionary tale" didn't say much more than "all men are horny and sex crazed and women's vaginas will bite your penis off if you're not nice to them." Great message. Anyway, I highly recommend that you avoid this movie if you're looking for good cinema. You won't find it here. But, if you're bored and in the mood for a good laugh (albeit slightly dark), then you may not mind wasting two hours of your life. Sure to entertain with countless scenes of tasteful humor and romance (note the sarcasm...I'm totally kidding, there's nothing tasteful here at all).
I end with a question: If there is someone out there willing to finance a film about a penis destroying, tooth infested vagina, then shouldn't I have an easier time finding someone to finance one of my projects?
1 comment:
I actually wanted to see this movie. Apparently it's supposed to be an intentionally bad so to be a comedy making fun of the ridiculousness of horror films. I dunno, maybe I'll skip it but maybe I wont. We'll see.
Zack
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