Well, as I'm writing this I have to confess that I've been something of an emotional wreck the last couple of days. Today is the day when my parents take Kelsey to the vet for her to be put to sleep. My son, Thomas, woke me up this morning with a stuffed animal tucked under his arm: a dalmatian, that he's had for several years now, he named Kelsey so that when he wasn't in North Carolina with her he'd have her close by. It was no accident that he had that stuffed animal under his arm this morning. I saw that and I just held him for a while. He even made my dad put the phone up to Kelsey's ear last night so he could say good-bye. I couldn't keep it together.
I read two things this morning that touched me deeply as it relates to Kelsey and my last blog. The first was an email that my mom had sent me in regards to my regret mentioned in my previous blog. She said that God doesn't hold our regrets against us and neither should we. That's easier said than done. The second was in a bulletin my brother, Gregg, posted on My Space. He said that we go through life and too often take for granted the people and the things (pets, etc) that are in our lives and even take for granted the love that we are shown. It's true, we do that. Our lives get so busy that we miss the little acts of love that we are shown everyday by those around us. How sad is that? I think that these little acts of love that come from our friends, loved ones, and yes, even our pets, are one of the many ways that God says "I love you" to us.
The last thought that I had on this topic blew my mind...I was putting together pictures for a project in a class and one of those pictures was of the earth, taken from a shuttle mission. Breath taking. Then I heard a song as I was driving: "God of wonders beyond our galaxy...the universe declares your majesty..." These two things reminded me of my astronomy class a couple years back and it seems amazing to me that as insignificant as we, as people, are in the grand scheme and scope of the universe, that the maker of it all is intimately interested in the details of our lives. Even down to Kelsey. It's incredible to think that this morning, with everything else going on in the world, that God feels the sorrow of my family at the loss of Kelsey. I guess it blows me away because nothing comes in and out of our lives that God doesn't notice or care about. I'll take comfort in that.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Kelsey
The beginning of a new week has brought with it some sad news for my family. A little back story is in order before I get to the sad news. During the summer of 1995 I was doing an internship at Trinity Assembly of God in Derry, NH. I purchased a Dalmatian puppy from a breeder in a nearby town. There were several puppies there, half with black spots and half with brown (liver spotted is what they call it). I sat there on the grass and watched as the puppies romped and played with each other. All but one. This one particular puppy had the brown spots, one blue eye, and one brown eye. The eye color thing meant that she could never be a show dog because it is looked at as a defect, but I thought it added character and besides, I had no intention of entering her in any shows. Anyway, I took her home. She threw-up in my car on the way home...funny that I think that's funny looking back. I got her home and brought her in the house and she just stood there, not sure what to think of her new surroundings. Everybody fell in love with her. Not only was she laid back and calm (not a trait usually found in Datamations), but she was very affectionate and sweet. That summer, Kelsey went every where with me. She ran errands with me, sat in the church office with me, and even slept in my bed...even though she was a bit big for that.
At the end of the summer, Kelsey and I headed out to Minnesota for what should have been my fourth year of college. The difference this year was that, Lori was waiting for me when I arrived. I was young and in love and applied all my time and effort to that relationship and, as a result, Kelsey didn't get the attention and love she needed or deserved from me. That is something that is still something of a regret for me. I was, however, conscious of my lop-sided priorities and brought her back to NH for my brother's wedding in October of 1995. My parents, who loved Kelsey, took her as their own dog and she's been with them ever since. Although, I've always still thought of her as mine I know that she was perfect for mom and dad and they were perfect for her. On our visits to my parents I always looked forward to seeing Kelsey. She smiles when she's excited...it's quite funny actually.
I didn't know it at the time, but I saw my Kelsey for the last time this past July. She is thirteen years old, which is old for a larger dog. Typically they only live 10-11 years. I received an email from my mother yesterday saying that Kelsey was not doing well and that her heart was having some trouble and that she had spent the last two days with the vet. We knew over the summer that she was having some trouble, but I didn't realize how quickly the condition would go down hill. Last night I received another email from my mother saying that, after much prayer, thought, and consulting with the vet, the decision was made to have her put to sleep since her heart condition had gotten the the point where she was in pain and the possibility of coming home and finding her dead was very real. So, mom and dad had to make that difficult and painful decision. I can't even drive down to see Kelsey one last time because my damn schedule just won't allow it. I'm so grateful that she has had a great life with my parents...they've been so good to her. But, I've always carried and will always carry that regret that I wasn't able to be a bigger part of her life. The cynics would laugh and say, "it's just a dog," but our pets really do become a part of our family and such a big part of our lives.
At the end of the summer, Kelsey and I headed out to Minnesota for what should have been my fourth year of college. The difference this year was that, Lori was waiting for me when I arrived. I was young and in love and applied all my time and effort to that relationship and, as a result, Kelsey didn't get the attention and love she needed or deserved from me. That is something that is still something of a regret for me. I was, however, conscious of my lop-sided priorities and brought her back to NH for my brother's wedding in October of 1995. My parents, who loved Kelsey, took her as their own dog and she's been with them ever since. Although, I've always still thought of her as mine I know that she was perfect for mom and dad and they were perfect for her. On our visits to my parents I always looked forward to seeing Kelsey. She smiles when she's excited...it's quite funny actually.
I didn't know it at the time, but I saw my Kelsey for the last time this past July. She is thirteen years old, which is old for a larger dog. Typically they only live 10-11 years. I received an email from my mother yesterday saying that Kelsey was not doing well and that her heart was having some trouble and that she had spent the last two days with the vet. We knew over the summer that she was having some trouble, but I didn't realize how quickly the condition would go down hill. Last night I received another email from my mother saying that, after much prayer, thought, and consulting with the vet, the decision was made to have her put to sleep since her heart condition had gotten the the point where she was in pain and the possibility of coming home and finding her dead was very real. So, mom and dad had to make that difficult and painful decision. I can't even drive down to see Kelsey one last time because my damn schedule just won't allow it. I'm so grateful that she has had a great life with my parents...they've been so good to her. But, I've always carried and will always carry that regret that I wasn't able to be a bigger part of her life. The cynics would laugh and say, "it's just a dog," but our pets really do become a part of our family and such a big part of our lives.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I'm such a softy!
We have cats. Three of them to be exact, which is about three too many. There good, actually, and the only reason we really have them is my fault. The kids wanted the first one..."Daddy, please can we have a kitten?" How do you say no? The other two we obtained because I saw them at the humane society and was like, "Aww...look at the little kittens..." So, we ended up with two more. Anyway, One of them lives outside because he kept peeing on the floor and one of the others likes to spend time outside and he likes to hunt. He brings us dead moles, mice, an occasional bird, and he brought a rat once. If he brings another rat we will, of course, call the city. I digress...last night I was standing outside talking to some friends of mine and Jack (the hunting cat) comes prancing into the yard with something rather large dangling from his mouth. I assume it's a rat. Jack drops it in the yard and the thing is still twitching and stuff. I move in for a closer look. It was a little baby bunny rabbit! Bunnies are cute and innocent. *warning-I'm going to be totally honest here* Now, I know that Jack is just doing what cats do, but it was a bunny! So I smacked him on the but and said "get away you little shit!" He ran off and my friends and I got a flashlight and examined it more closely. It was very much alive, but had some bite wounds. So I pick the thing up and bring it into the house. It was after midnight, but it wasn't long and everyone was up, worrying about the little bunny. We made some phone calls to vets, but no one answered, obviously. we wrapped it in a towel and placed it in a little cage we had and decided we'd see if it made it through the night. I fully expected to be burying a little bunny this morning. But, the thing's still alive! And it even drank some water! This morning we will call a vet and see if there is anything they can do for it. I'm so soft. I couldn't leave the little thing outside last night to die. I thought that if it was going to die it deserved to die warm and doted on.
Monday, September 8, 2008
NFL Week One
The title's a bit misleading. I will not be doing this every week. The first week, though, is of particular interest. I was so excited about the Pats' first game. We did manage to come away with a win. Bittersweet. Yeah for the win, but it also carries with the season ending injury of (I'd like to see someone try to argue this) one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL, Tom Brady.
Don't get me wrong, Matt Castle played well...our defense played exceptionally well, especially in the last quarter...but Castle just isn't Tom Brady. Honestly, all my hopes for the perfect season (the one we should have had last year) are a bit dim. Hopefully, Matt Castle will be what Tom Brady was to Drew Bledsoe. We'll see. That's all I have to say about that.
Don't get me wrong, Matt Castle played well...our defense played exceptionally well, especially in the last quarter...but Castle just isn't Tom Brady. Honestly, all my hopes for the perfect season (the one we should have had last year) are a bit dim. Hopefully, Matt Castle will be what Tom Brady was to Drew Bledsoe. We'll see. That's all I have to say about that.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Nothing Specific
Well, this will be random. For those of you that know me that'll come as no surprise. Generally, my mind feels very random and draws random connections that, if unexplained to the listener, may make no sense. At any rate, now some of you know be better than you did 30 seconds ago. So hang on to your mouse and, if you try really hard, you may be able to make some sense out of the following stream of thoughts. Actually, you probably won't...but it will fill you in on the last couple weeks of my life.
First of all, the short film we shot over the summer, "Previously Viewed: 2 Day Rental" is nearly finished. A little ADR and maybe a hint of music and we're done. I'm trying to work out a premier in December at the Downtown Arts Center in Lexington. I'll let you all know when that happens.
As most of you probably know by now I was cast in an independent film with a company out of Columbus, OH. The film is entitled "Bangin'" and NO it is NOT a porn. We'll shoot sometime in November. I'm quite excited about it and wowed and flattered that they selected me over so many talented people. many of whom I thought were far more talented than myself.
Yesterday I was supposed to be in a scene for another independent film called "Mountain Mafia" in which I am a hitman (fun to play against your character traits) and we've choreographed, with the help of a stuntman, a rather brutal-it'll look great-fight scene. The shoot got rescheduled and I'm hoping for cooler weather on the reshoot date.
I think...no, I know I have had the easiest part in Asbury College's Fall Musical, "The Spitfire Grill." This is another project that I'm really looking forward to, but as the only character with no lines or songs (there's irony there folks...to go audition for a musical and then get cast as the mute!) I've not been needed at all the preliminary rehearsals. I won't actually have to be there until the week before tech week. It's a small part, but the emotions in the scenes is high and they have potential to be very strong and powerful for the audience.
My good friend and partner in crime, Zack, and I went to Louisville on Saturday to audition for a TV pilot. It was tons of fun and we'll just wait and see where it goes.
At the end of my first week of my second semester at Asbury, I'm feeling a wee bit overwhelmed, to be honest. I love to read, but there's a lot of it and all of it from one class (Screenwriting) is making it painfully obvious to me that writing scripts may not be my strongest point in the whole filmmaking process. I love the whole process, but am finding the the majority of my passion lies in the acting department. I do, however, wish to have a solid understanding of all the pieces to make me a better rounded actor/filmmaker.
At any rate, between family, work, school, and the other projects, I've been feeling just a little stressed out this week. Not really super over tired, just tense and not relaxed in the slightest.
Lastly (I'm really going to be done now), let me drop my brief opinion on a couple movies I saw recently (which I pulled myself away from my school work to watch in hopes of refreshing my mind).
"What Happens in Vegas" I really had no preconceived expectations for the movie other than Cameron Diaz being her normal cute self. She was. It was rather humorous and I thought the concept was rather funny and provided plenty of conflict. Not in my top ten new movies, but perhaps the top twenty. I would watch it again. So if you need a good laugh, check it out.
"Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay"
Nutshell...hated the first one. I don't get into the drugs are funny humor. There's some exceptions to that rule of mine (as far as humor in movies goes), but it was the whole catalyst for the first movie and plays a huge role in the new one. Granted, there are several moments that are actually funny that don't involve pot, boobs, or vaginas. While there were those funny parts, I didn't feel they justified my hour and a half.
First of all, the short film we shot over the summer, "Previously Viewed: 2 Day Rental" is nearly finished. A little ADR and maybe a hint of music and we're done. I'm trying to work out a premier in December at the Downtown Arts Center in Lexington. I'll let you all know when that happens.
As most of you probably know by now I was cast in an independent film with a company out of Columbus, OH. The film is entitled "Bangin'" and NO it is NOT a porn. We'll shoot sometime in November. I'm quite excited about it and wowed and flattered that they selected me over so many talented people. many of whom I thought were far more talented than myself.
Yesterday I was supposed to be in a scene for another independent film called "Mountain Mafia" in which I am a hitman (fun to play against your character traits) and we've choreographed, with the help of a stuntman, a rather brutal-it'll look great-fight scene. The shoot got rescheduled and I'm hoping for cooler weather on the reshoot date.
I think...no, I know I have had the easiest part in Asbury College's Fall Musical, "The Spitfire Grill." This is another project that I'm really looking forward to, but as the only character with no lines or songs (there's irony there folks...to go audition for a musical and then get cast as the mute!) I've not been needed at all the preliminary rehearsals. I won't actually have to be there until the week before tech week. It's a small part, but the emotions in the scenes is high and they have potential to be very strong and powerful for the audience.
My good friend and partner in crime, Zack, and I went to Louisville on Saturday to audition for a TV pilot. It was tons of fun and we'll just wait and see where it goes.
At the end of my first week of my second semester at Asbury, I'm feeling a wee bit overwhelmed, to be honest. I love to read, but there's a lot of it and all of it from one class (Screenwriting) is making it painfully obvious to me that writing scripts may not be my strongest point in the whole filmmaking process. I love the whole process, but am finding the the majority of my passion lies in the acting department. I do, however, wish to have a solid understanding of all the pieces to make me a better rounded actor/filmmaker.
At any rate, between family, work, school, and the other projects, I've been feeling just a little stressed out this week. Not really super over tired, just tense and not relaxed in the slightest.
Lastly (I'm really going to be done now), let me drop my brief opinion on a couple movies I saw recently (which I pulled myself away from my school work to watch in hopes of refreshing my mind).
"What Happens in Vegas" I really had no preconceived expectations for the movie other than Cameron Diaz being her normal cute self. She was. It was rather humorous and I thought the concept was rather funny and provided plenty of conflict. Not in my top ten new movies, but perhaps the top twenty. I would watch it again. So if you need a good laugh, check it out.
"Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay"
Nutshell...hated the first one. I don't get into the drugs are funny humor. There's some exceptions to that rule of mine (as far as humor in movies goes), but it was the whole catalyst for the first movie and plays a huge role in the new one. Granted, there are several moments that are actually funny that don't involve pot, boobs, or vaginas. While there were those funny parts, I didn't feel they justified my hour and a half.
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