Okay, a little back story before I tell you what happened to me today: A couple years ago during my stint in hell...er...I mean Walmart I was taking care of business in a stall in the men's room (for those of you that don't think outside the box- I was taking a crap). Someone walks in and sticks their head under my stall door. Being the understanding guy I am yelled, "What the hell, dude?" He began mumbling to himself ala Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. Perfect, I yelled at a mentally handicapped person. Real nice.
So, today...I'm at the pool with Lori and the kids and I'm waiting in line with Thomas for the water slide (which is rather fun by the way) and there's this rather large man behind me. Keep in mind here that I had just finished in the gym and hadn't been in the water yet so my skin in dry and very warm due to the sun. Anyway, as I'm standing there waiting I feel something cold, wet, and fleshy touching the small of my back. I correctly assume that is this guy's belly that has just rubbed against my back. I roll my eyes and mutter to myself as I put my hand on the rail and raise myself to the next step. I then feel a wet hand touching my elbow, followed by the belly on my back again. I mutter out loud, but still under my breath. Every inch forward he matched, making sure his belly did not leave the 1 centimeter distance that he was working had to maintain.
I make it down the slide, followed by the guy whose stomach had been molesting me. He's behind me again. The same thing happens and I ignore it the first two times on this go around. The third time I turn around and say (very politely, after all he was bigger than me), "I'm sorry, man am I in your way? I can scoot up if you'd like." He looked blankly back at me and I realized that he was mentally handicapped. Great, I finally speak up and stand up for myself and I end up feeling like a jerk. At any rate, I went and laid down until he was done using the water slide. Mentally handicapped or not though, I don't like strangers rubbing on me. It's just creepy.
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I am sorry- but that absolutely cracked me up. Molested by a belly... HAHAHA.
Ok sorry- now that I am not giggling, I think you handled it very well- even though the guy was a bit challenged it doesn't give his belly a right to molest you... HAHAHAHAA. Wow, I so need to lay off the coffee.
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